Doubleem.tumblr.com

Gonna switch to tumblr for a little while for a change, check there if there aren't any updates here :)

http://doubleem.tumblr.com

xo,
Mrs Micky

Photo Update!

Been wanting to switch over to tumblr for the longest time but tumblr is not being a good kid. Argh. I will try again tomorrow I guess.

I have to check back again on how joysu/amylia insists my tumblr posts have changed over the span of 4 months. NO IT HASN'T! I'm damn sure of it hahaha.

Well, photos! Here we go.

Beer-time with the blastards :)

Celebrating the 22 with the NAIS <3

work :x urgh

with the extendeds over the weekend :)

& my awesomely cute nephew for y'all to aw about :D

going the Thai style on a datenight

early morning bfast with mummy

*KARAGIRLS*

 

quality time with my favorite girls <3<3

:D

That kinda sums it all up. :)
Back to being a bummer and fervently looking for jobs, I need lots of luck in that *fingers crossed*

Goodnight y'all!


xo,
Mrs Micky

Of Marriages & Weddings

I think the above title is a bit misleading....because I'm not gonna launch into an entire blog post about marriages, or weddings. Well, I am touching on that topic but it's not gonna be a whole philosophical long rant about marriage and what nots.

It's just, I chanced upon this wedding photographer's website that really caught my breath. I've always liked looking at wedding photos. Don't ask me why, I'm not hinting at anything. I mean I was just innocently looking at all the photos and my mum walked in and declared "why you suddenly so interested? you planning your own wedding already meh?!" Erm, that was a little bit awkward.

Back to the point, so yeah I've always been stalking wedding photography websites for the longest time I can recall and this, is simply the best one yet.

How I got it? I was happily looking through Janice (from Jayesslee)'s engagement video and tadaaah I got linked to Jennysun's website. Yes yes, both twins are married now....or to-be-married.

You guys really just have to look through her portfolio. Some photographers have a wide range of style, from shooting high-contrast to b/w and etc, so I was a little curious about the rest of her shots and it turns out her style is really consistent....and I love every shot. :D

I know it's a little copyright infringing, but I had to save some of her photos to post it up here because it really kinda just blew me away. At least I took the ones from Andy + Sonia's wedding. Since they're mini celebrities and all, that shouldn't matter.....right?

Looking through all the photos made me realize how much I've forgotten about wanting to plan a wedding like this. Pastel-schemed, florals, nature. Just a very vintage or victorian or just country-side feel to it. I guess after many years and conditioning by the media, I've gotten accustomed to the idea that there is no need for marriage if it doesn't happen, no need for a big wedding because the ones I've seen is just too conventional, no need for a wedding at all because all that matters is that two people in love are together. All of these still stands, but I think I kinda envisioned differently back then. And it's probably idealistic because when we were young we all were, but sometimes they are called ideals for a reason. And there's no way of saying that we are not supposed to chase after them.

So yeah, all the photos make me feel like planning my own dream wedding again (whether it happens or not is an entirely different issue). I would have my usual outdoorsy location, somewhere breezy, near nature or the sea, with a really vast landscape that is all ours to see and run through. The flowers, pink, champagne, rose-coloured, with white and cream backdrops. A makeshift altar, long aisle. Now, I would really like a gazebo. :) 

I guess I never really knew how to picture the perfect wedding I had in my head until I saw this. Comes kinda close? Not exactly, but somewhere around this would already be very nice. If the river/lake was a tad less murky would be perfect.

And balloons. Yup, balloons. That'd be awesome.

I would merge both ROM and wedding dinner together into one full day. Not in a ballroom, not in a classroom, not in any rooms. Outdoors. Btw I really don't like the word ROM, it sounds too singaporeanish, which I am, but in any case I still don't like it.  The registration in the morning, walking down the aisle and blah blah, then dinner in the evening, the same place, and then dance, music and chill-out.

It's very idealistic no? Hahaha, I think so too. Where on earth am I going to find such a location in Singapore, and to add on, Singapore is NEVER breezy. The problem with getting married as a Singaporean is the externalities that comes with being married. The traditional values of any Singaporean family.

Let's just use my family as an example. I think I've once tried to touch on the topic of what if I never get married, and well, all hell broke loose. The lectures started coming out, responsibilities, obligations to this and that and life's natural cycle. I've had conversations with my mum ending with a "When you get married we will have a huge huge wedding dinner then everybody can come and see and say you very pretty', so it all boils down to having face when organizing wedding dinners as well. The tradition - tea ceremony in the morning, wedding dinner at night...in a ballroom, yumseng, take photos, blah blah. Oh gosh, I don't want it.

That said, it's all probably going to be the same either way I want it or not. :(

So, wedding.........let's just say I haven't been dreaming about it for a long long time.


But JennySun has re-inspired me with her photos :D Which I have gotten so many ideas from, not that I have anywhere to place those ideas but saving them in my head for a later date doesn't sound like such a bad idea?

Gazebo + White wedding gown (i have the design in my head whee) + Red heels + Roses


Now, I really can't wait.
Ok, I'm not really waiting for anything. Don't get any ideas.


Tee hee.


xo,
Mrs Micky

Words

Stories are but a few words on pieces of paper, some abit more, some a bit less. Words are just letters, alphabets, stringed together to mean something, to do something, for many different purposes. What they do have in common - empty promises.

I used to be pretty familiar with this, and I kind of lost track of when I became vulnerable to words.

Some people tell you stories; some more eloquent than others, drag you over to their side, irregardless of whether it's true, you follow blindly. Some other people tell you nice things, to make you happy, so that you will behave the way they want you to. The few others will argue with you, to make you think, to make themselves feel intellectual, to make it seem like they have a cause to win.

Either way, everybody has a motive.

I know it's very idealistic to be critical about people and their words because I'm also using words to achieve my means most of the time. But when I stop and think about it, I just cannot bring myself to look past it.

Let's not talk about the usual bunch; how about the really good ones who seem to have no trouble getting what they want once they open their mouth. Those are the ones who we really should be wary of?

Facts are just facts, but people like to use words to cover them up. It's not hard to guess, really. A woman's intuition is always the most accurate. Lying is one thing, but perhaps the hardest is realizing that you can never completely know what the other person is thinking that scares you the most. You hear the words, but you don't feel the sincerity. You know it's 50-50 chance; its either the truth or its just sugar-coated. It will break anyone's heart, listening to words like these, coming from family, friends, even strangers. Well, perhaps strangers not really.

And words are simply just, words. They are used in many different contexts for many different purposes. Problem is, how do you know which is good for you and which isn't?

I think I came here to talk about something related to this, but all of a sudden I can't find enough vocabulary to put it down here.

Again, like I said, words are just words. You can take it that I meant nothing, or I meant something by everything that I have just mentioned....typed.

It doesn't really matter to me anyway. Not anymore.

Suburban Habit

The feeling of missing someone to the point where it gets unbearable, the whole idea of pining, yearning, desiring, wishing becomes a destination rather than an emotion. Anyone can survive it, through a long turn of impatience and restless hours, and like everything else, the end always come too brief and too sweet. I won't complain about the sweet part, but 'brief' is heavily understated.

Life is always too short, every waking hour is precious but we waste them away just the same. I'd like to believe that each hour we felt "wasted" isn't actually as wasted as we think. Each hour that we remain stationary, each moment that we think we 'waste', I'd think that those are the only hours we get to take a respite from the world we're in. Which is a very demanding place in my opinion. Responsibilities tie us down and obligations make us spend most of our time looking and searching for something 'worthy' to achieve. Every action, every decision must have an underlying purpose lest it be considered wasteful. Well, I wouldn't say everybody feels the same, but I think they just don't know it yet.

I find myself a slave to my own time; everything needs to be perfect on the days where I get to have a little bit of personal time. Every decision must be the right one. Where to go, what to eat, what to do. Not a moment to be wasted, that's the point of view everyday of my life. Which is good I guess, purposeful albeit a little bit of a downer most of the time.

Perhaps it is just that I don't know what I want and I'm forcefully pushing time forward because of my eagerness to find out what the future holds for me. I know that's wrong, but knowing the problem doesn't mean I own the remedy.

Tomorrow's the start of another long week at the dreadful workplace. At moments I'm pretty glad with myself that I'm holding it off awhile longer while at some moments I pretty much hate myself for even agreeing to stay, even if it's just for another month. Can't decide if I'm really that weak at heart. But tonight's the last night of the week and I dare say it has been a lonely one. But if I think hard about it, I think my mind's making it all up. I need to remember that life doesn't revolve around what I want at that specific moment, but many other moments that has yet to come, and some that has already passed.

Consider this short rant as an insight to the suburban mind of a slightly deranged individual.

As many will say, just get used to it.


xo,
Mrs Micky

What I would have said months ago

“I do not remember very many things from the inside out. I do not remember what it felt like to touch things, or how bathwater traveled over my skin. I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break. Even now, when people lean down to touch me, or hug me, or put a hand on my shoulder, I hold my breath. I turn my face. I want to cry.”