Little and A Lot

There's this problem with Scorpios and Libras.
Scorpios think too much; and Libras don't think at all.

We just have to learn, don't we?

S24 dance practice today was good, managed to had cleanup and stuff and sighs I wish I could dance better but such is life. Off to tumblr! :)

Nights people.

xxx,
Mrs Micky

Wow, incredible krispy~

ALL HAIL THE INCREDIBLE KRISPY!

*bows*
Thank you, thank you. :D


 And why am I incredible??? Because, simply because, I managed to finish a 2000word essay complete with images and references in 2 bloody hours. It wasn't intentional, I swear. I was never and still am not a last minute worker, but circumstances have led me to such a conclusion. Last 2 weeks have been complete hell for me, going without adequate sleep everyday (i need at least 8 hours of sleep to function i'm sorry i'm not noctural). Sustaining myself on coffee everyday while using up my energy without the first 3 hours of the day due to my constant chatter and never-ending imagination. Not the best 2 weeks I have had. Really felt the weight of taking 24 modular credits only last week, wow krispy you're amazing haha.

BUT. Even though I finished the essay, I'm going to flunk this module so badly I also feel like crying. Firstly, the essay probably doesn't even flow well because I just wrote out whatever I had in my mind, and secondly I over exceeded by 600 words. 600 bloody words. And I couldn't even take extra time to properly cut it down because of the deadline. Sometimes living in school has its perks. IF ONLY I STAYED ON CAMPUS, i would have an extra hour to clean up the entire essay. But unfortunately, when you're depending on someone else, all you can do is to abide by their rules. Even with that I'm still very grateful. If she didn't help me, I'd have to take a cab down to school just to hand it in on time...and that's a bad thing because I've been spending way too much on cab fares recently due to late night practices and shit.

Oh well, my wallet is like an onion now. When I open it, I cry.

I'm kinda upset also because I knew I could have aced this module, but considering that this bloody essay takes up 50% of the grade, and I practically threw it down the drain, I can't have any expectations anymore. I just hope that the person who marks it sees whatever I'm trying to say instead of being anal about my language and....ultra huge amount of extra words. Oh fuck, I'm so screwed. #justsaying

I should be happier though. In this case it's completely no fault of mine that the essay was done so last-minute (I don't wanna point fingers and I'm not self-justifying either). So, all I can say is that I did my best, and I definitely should be happier about the fact that hell week is officially over before week 13 starts and nm3217 folder and web is due. I even managed to finish dream high 2 and the sun that embraces the moon as well as strong heart yg special today. Ok well....that was because I was bed-ridden with flu and fever and couldn't do anything else (excuses excuses). BUT AT LEAST I FINALLY HAD SOME ME-TIME TODAY. It's like I've been looking forward to this for a million years.

So, I'm just wondering when should I start on my next long lists of assignments. Because I think once I start, I'm not going to see sleep in a very long time again.

Ok, shall start it tonight.
At least a little?

xxx,
Mrs Micky

친구위한 기쁨

Nearly got caught by the i-hate-myself bug again. Just have to remember time and time again that there's nothing good in lamenting on what's already past and what will never be. Life is short, treasure what you've got and what you can deliver. Everybody's got a role to play.


"Some people, were born to sit by a river. Some get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people, dance." 

I wish I could write about happier stuff, like maybe what I ate in the morning or what I'm going to do later. But I'm afraid all of it will bore you. Funnily perhaps some think my melancholy is their form of happiness. Perhaps.

Well just some trivia: I've got shitloads of assignments to finish up, endless worries about how to get a job after graduation and completely no motivation whatsoever...and no inspiration. Count that the reasons why I have nothing to write about.
Which makes this entire post invalid.

 What was my point again???

Got my baby pink keyboard protector today and typing on it makes me happy ^^
Although yes I still hate the color pink, don't ask why I ordered a pink keyboard protector. Perhaps its a sign that I'm in denial to myself about my favorite color haha.

So much to do in so little time. And with 2 competitions coming up I feel like I'm going to break in the near future so I'd better enjoy what I have left now. :) For once in a very long time I finally feel like I'm beginning to step out of my zone.

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."
 

xxx,
Mrs Micky

No more outings. No more money.

Didn't get to buy this, but ohmaigawd its damn preetz.

Omg it's still a week before we fly off. I'm counting down the days and honestly each day makes me more jumpy and nervous. I can almost feel my heart leaping out of my mouth. Perhaps I've been cooped up for too long.
Day was spent with Evon shopping in town for her xmas cards and then Bugis for oh well, what else. Hahahahaha. I spent a bomb. And I hate myself now.
It's almost like the clothes were all calling to me. How can I not buy that forever21 skirt when its only 19bucks and there was only one piece left?! Okay technically 19bucks isn't cheap, but hai its 'limited edition' yo. One weak point of mine is that I never let the last piece of the only design go. It's GOTTABEMINEEEEEE.

Ok lah, I spent a lot on other stuff too, yet those are the things that I won't be using in Singapore. Korea, what have you done to me.

Ok, 10 more mins before I leave house to meet nicnic for dinner. Gotta make sure my mum has her dinner and is back home safe and sound first. Surprisingly I'm pretty uptight about her falling sick this time. Maybe its because I turned 21? Ok makes no sense but oh well.

Nearly lost my wallet on the bus and I nearly freaked out. I practically ran up and down the bus to make sure it didn't 'roll' somewhere, and LUCKILY I went to the bus driver to ask. Tbh I didn't approach the driver because I thought someone returned it to me. Surprisingly that thought never crossed my mind. Kinda shows how much I think of Singaporeans. But OHMAIGAWD there was ONE super duper awesome must be an angel Singaporean who returned my wallet to the bus driver. HOW AWESOME IS THAT PERSON. And he/she didn't take my cash, nor my credit cards. Nothing! OMGGGGGGG I HOPE THAT PERSON WIN LOTTERY. OR GET GOOD KARMA FOR A MILLION YEARS. I HEARTS YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE :DDDD


Ok, mummy is still not bad. Gotta pack a little bit of luggage (what, i'm excited ok) and then leave house. Yeay dinner with nicnic! <3


xxx,
Mrs Micky

Audition frights + Butterflies

 

Had an awesome time-out with both weiliat and evon. Needed that break to just take some breather outside. Felt a lot better.

Went around Fareast today in search of pretty cheap things to buy, but somehow, within the 4 months I wasn't there, something happened to Fareast. All the shops seemed to have upgraded and the clothes became more atas. Eh needless to say, the pricings are also very atas. So we left with only purchasing a pair of shoes (2 pairs for Evon). :( Sads.

But the shoes we bought were prettyyyyy so.... yay *\0/*

Borrowed some really preetz shoes from Evon for the korea trip, and am gonna be rocking it man. I cannot wait. It's like people are telling me "Huh you're leaving so fast" and all I can think of is that time is going too slowly. I want to leave like right now. Yoojin's leaving next tues, and I WANNA LEAVE WITH HER TOO. :( If only my mum allowed me to stay there for 2 weeks ;((((

Oh well.
Tomorrow's gonna be busy with trying to finalize the audition piece, which is like, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do because nothing's good enough, and I'm not good enough and urgh. Don't really want to go there and throw face, but by the looks of it, seems like it's a plausible scenario. Nu Abo, or Bounce, or Energetic, or neither? Fml, choices are damn hard to make.
Then filming for another audition piece for another job. Which is like.... weird. But if I want the money (which i desperately need), i'll have to submit that fricking video. Well, thanks to evon i got the lobang so I cannot waste her efforts!!
And I need the money.

Boohoo.

Off to sketch designs, for Eve&Beckha. Wheeeee~~~~


xxx,
Mrs Micky

Snowball fights

Start of the holidays. :DDDDDDDDDD
YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I've never been happier knowing the fact that I can do whatever I want, and whenever I want.

Money is as issue, yup, but there's always solutions.

Finding temporary work that I can force myself to do is a hard thing. Nothing on the net seems good enough. Cashiering? Date of application over. Waitressing? i'll probably dump the tray on the clients' heads. Giving out flyers? Need to wear their "desire costume" which sounds damn dubious. Hampers packing? Only ORDs need apply.

Wtf. Am I just not fated to find a temp job this holiday? Only has a week to spare to earn enough cash for the Korea trip, but phffffffft. Where's all deh money?

If I could, I would do dance shows for EVER just to get the money. First, I love dancing, and I love performing. Second, the money is good. Third, even if the money isn't good, I still would do it anyway since the first point is valid.

But such lobangs...only come to professional dancers who are good at what they do.

Oh welllllllll I should be more satisfied.

Planning itinerary for the whole of last night, and only 1/4 done. Got the places to go to, but we have 12 places to go in 6 days. Which sounds easier, but factor in the distance each place is from one another and I'm just like, oh shit. Well, now gotta piece together which place to go on which day, and add in all the smaller details. Honestly, I'm not big on the whole follow-the-system shit. Kinda like to just walk around and get lost in a complete foreign place and enjoy the new experience it gives. Wonder if it's a pain in the ass for others?  But still I'm not so fearless to just walk around without any plans in mind.

Gotta go check out how much of winter clothings I have at home. Because in my memory, even if I search deep enough, I think I only have 2 pieces of winter clothing. Oh noessssssssss.

Nose sniffling, eyes watering. Gah.
Back soon!

xxx,
Mrs Micky

"Lend me your Fear."

I've come to the decision that I should start letting myself depend on others for a change.
And I had to learn this from an anime. Sometimes, I think my whole life is forged on another's, be it real or reel.

What's past remains the past and I have no intention of digging it out and tearing apart the seams it took so long to sew shut. "I myself am made entirely out of flaws; stitched together with good intentions."
Never felt it more apt.

Rummaging through millions of photos just to get that few shots that'd work in a collage is making me both grumpy and happy at the same time. I love looking through photos, its something I'll never get sick of. But working on adobe catalyst is however an entirely different issue. Whenever I get started on trying to make catalyst work, I just want to take my entire computer and throw it into the wall. Argh, and I've only myself to blame for being such a know-it-all and said I'd do the interactivity part for the project, when I know shit about how to do it. I wish someone could take it off my hands...I think I'm much more suited for the collages. :(

I hope I won't fail this module because of this final project. I really hope I don't because right now...it feels like I'm going to.

Be back with happier thoughts in... 2 weeks time. When finals are over I think my mental capacity shall be much able to contain happy thoughts.


xxx,
Mrs Micky

Still hard to break

Still, I can't change my habit of blogging whenever I feel sad. Which is why my blog will never be a happy one and I have to constantly change it. Why oh why. Life is tough. Decisions are hard to make. Habits are hard to break.


Yay it's yoojin's birthday today! Another friend just joined the ranks of the 21-ers.
Happy birthday dear!! <3 생일축하합니다ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ


Off to memorize my korean script before screwing up the ppt tmr. Argh fml.

FANGIRL

The last two days has been a whirlwind of emotions for me, and the funny thing is I don't even know why. Forever temperamental, me.

Have been cooped up at home for the whole day trying to finish projects and write that bloody essay. Was supposed to be out for project meetings, but shifted it to online meetings instead. I LOVE YOU TECHNOLOGY. It's too awesome to be in your pjs sitting in your most unglam pose ever eating cookies and discussing projects with your mates who can't see you. Who said being at home is unproductive?

But yes, one essay down. One project draft down. 1/million of sketches done. So....that leaves me with...damnnit not gonna count anymore. Can't wait till this shitass school is done with me so that I can leave and do what I gotta do.

SNSD's The Boys performance is getting more and more disappointing, and this is only the 3rd stage they've performed?? I had so much expectations from their MV but as usual they fail to impress. They're really pretty, and skinny..... but where's the rest? Enkee complained to me that her hall mate (obviously a male) forced her watch snsd's videos on loop for the longest time. Like she'd be saying she wanna go, and he'll tell her to stay and watch one more, "Oh oh, wait there's another video."....."Here's another one!" "Here's another!" "One more!" on and on..... Boys, and their sexual fantasies. And their humsup nature.

Ok girls are humsup too. I'm living proof of that.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm sorry for being humsup................. NOT.

Speaking of which, have been on a micky spree since this morning and he is driving me nuts. Everytime I look at him, I feel like I'm back to being 17. All eager and hormones crazy fangirling 17 year old me. But honestly, why is he so cute. It's beyond all kinds of reasoning! How can anyone look this good?
Which is of course very objective since most people would refute me and claim that jaejoongie is more perfect.
But since I'm still MrsMicky, their arguments are invalid. 


And then there was Woohyun stalking. And analysis: He's like a younger version of Micky.
EVEN BETTER. NO?


Fine. I'm bias. So what?

Hahahahahahaha. I need to get back into fandom. It's been too long being cooped up with dance, schoolwork, commitments and redundancies. I'm not their number 1 fangirl anymore :( I cannot proudly proclaim anymore.

Ok that's all gonna change now. STALKING FANGIRL MODE IS ON. :D

xxx,
Mrs Micky


 

Promontory Picnic with Blast!

 Fly Kite Fly session was awesome :D and with awesome peeps of course. Had to go down later than expected thanks to housechores and stupid naggings, but I guess luckily we did go down at that time because the sun was halfway down and the wind was stronger. Couldn't imagine how hot it was in the early afternoon.

Had lots of laughter, nibblings at bread, busking (not really), and phototaking. Can't wait for the jump shots, its gonna be damn funny I predict.

Would have been so much more fun if the rest had come, although time spent today was really worth the travel and the sweat.

Wanna go there again for another picnic. Its so prettyyyyyyyy~

Am having a sudden urge to just fly to Korea right now, and leave everything behind. Tickets booked, wheeeee, now to settle accommodation. I'm afraid the more I put myself into this, the less I'll wanna throw myself into the books, which of course is obviously more important now. But I've always had problems with time management and self-discipline. Feels like I shouldn't be googling Korea anytime soon till week 13 is over. And I really really hope it'll be over soon.


Shall pass out now, for the tomorrow's hectic day.....not. But still, krispy needs her sleep.


xxx,
Mrs Micky

내꺼 해줄꺼지 응?

Sexy-heels Friday

Took this in H&M cus we met Shan&Jessie and evon said we had to capture the moment, whatever that meant hahaha

And the usual Starbucks Thursday at UCC.

 

 Figured life's too short, so I shall start embracing.Trying my best to do some Godot readings so I can start on the essay but, argh, nothing's going in and the internet is too tempting. Keep repeating Shanghai Love on iTunes and my body is reacting naturally to it. baby oh oh oh ohhhhh ohhh~~~

Legs still hurting from the fall yesterday although it was pretty hilarious. I think I'm weird for laughing at my own misfortune, but seriously, falling in slow-motion is pretty damn funny. Evon couldn't take it too.

Had a short getaway yesterday with Evon to watch 'Friends with Benefits', and it didn't disappoint. Well I didn't expect much from it anyway. How much can you expect from a show called friends, with benefits? Hello, title says it all. It was funny, I give you that. Content wise....well, it was alright. I think the best thing about the movie was the Taimei we snuck into the cinema, along with free drinks that Evon went to chase after (cause we're students yeah). A little H&M shopping afterwards was relaxing. When we came out of the building we felt like we went overseas and just came back from our holiday.

T'was a good day yst, and then a dreadful today filled with sneezing and fatigue. And lack of better things to do other than mugging (which also wasn't done). Tomorrow shall be fun I hope, kite flying session! :)

Can't wait for this semester to be over, and Korea here I come. :)


xxx,
Mrs Micky

D minus1

Finally got my ass up to travel to the career centre to book my resume workshop slot. Goodness I am damn lazy. It's amazing how I managed to persuade myself to go to the library, sit down and finish my essay but fainted into dreamland without even knowing it. The studyroom was too conducive for me, I think.

Days without dance is surprisingly empty; not just emotionally-wise, but workload free as well. Not talking about how my life feels empty without EMCC practices, my normal days suddenly became much freer. Friends ask me if I'm free on a certain day, and I pause to take a look at my scheduler (as became a habit from being too busy and forgetting appointments), and I realise I can finally tell them "Yes, I'm free. DATE ME OUT PLS."

EMCC was all nice and stuff but the whole "I can't, I have dance" excuse didn't seem to work very well with my friends this semester. Moreover, it didn't help that I didn't have a social life to speak of (not counting the awesumz peeps at blast). Yes I miss EMCC, but to be honest, I miss my life more. I miss the ability to choose when to dance and when to just laze around in a cafe with my friends sipping mocha latte etc etc. The only thing I miss about EMCC is perhaps only the few people whom made it so special, and the routinity of it. But still, it remains one of the more memorable memories I'll take with me when I graduate. Which is soon. Hm.

Been thinking, that if I could stop being so judgmental and unforgiving of others I could have been a much happier person. Therefore, day one starts tomorrow.

Should be doing my essay, my prototype, my nm3223 blog, my korean project and more. But I'm stuck here trying to procrastinate. :( I don't want to be lazy but I am lazy.

Rarrrrrrrrrr.


xxx,
Mrs Micky

What if Harry Potter was an anime?

Been meaning to do up EMCC post soon but I keep getting distracted. Should have been studying but went off on a harrypotter anime spree. :(((((
I NEED TO STUDY.

But anw, it'd be so awesome if harry potter was an anime instead. Everyone looks damn awesome.
I'd totally date Sirius Black anyday.

The Marauder's Era

The Harry Potter Era

Omg can you please just look at Sirius Black. Wtf I wanna marry him.

Generations (Can I say I love the slytherin bad-ass look on the left!)

 

This one's for Snape. Poor baby.

Shall pop off to bed for tmr's lesson then. NEED MORE HARRYPOTTERSPREE RARHAHRHARHHHHHHHHH.


xxx,
Mrs Micky

Musings #3

Want to stay in love with my sorrow, Lithium.

Had a super chillax time with weiliat at Pigeonhole Cafe in the afternoon. Sat down with a meatpiepot (YUMZ) and a cuppucino and practically just lamed the whole afternoon away. Was a really good catch-up and had many good laughs. Made my sleepy day a lot better :)

A lot of things came up in our conversation. The issue of parenting (the 4 different kinds), the issue of commitment issues, who's pretty and who's not, and practically just everything that popped into our minds. Kind of realized how low of a pedestal I place myself upon after today though. And made me realize how subconcsciously affected I am about a lot of things although I pretend I don't give a fuck.

And I realized that despite everything that has been given to me I still don't feel satisfied yet. Even though there has been improvements and merits and good days, still, I wish all of it could have been better. Fuck, I wish I can be better.

That's not saying that I'm depressed or completely insecure. I just want to be better, I want to be the best, I want to stand on top of all those who believed I couldn't do it and step all over them. I know it sounds extreme but usually such thoughts only exist in my head. I don't do stuff like that.

Just rewatched all of Evanescence's videos and listened to their songs on loop. It brought me back to when I was still in my goth wear and heavy eyeliner and listening to metal/punk music all day long. That was the period when my relatives were so worried for me I remember. There were disapproving looks but they never despised that part of me, and for that I love them so much. And that period brought so much nostalgia back for me. It's hard for some to understand why would that phase be so important to me, but the truth is that that point in time was perhaps the most real part of me in my entire life up till now. I might be a dancer or a weird girl dressed in funky bright clothes now that has really weird tastes and behave erratically (such is the Krispy Syndrome), but no matter how I may look like now, still I am that same old girl draped in black with heavy eyelined eyes listening to noisy songs inside. Still, I am that same girl that's in love with sorrow. Songs don't lie, and memories don't lie too.
Lithium, I love that song. I love the meaning behind it. I love how she sings it. I love how it hurts when I hear it. Because it's a happy kind of pain.

I sound so crazy right now, but I really miss that old part of me. And I can't go back because what's past should remain in the past and I'd be REALLY crazy if I go back again. Happiness is something that I shouldn't push away and something I shouldn't fear. I should embrace that opportunity.

Honestly this post sounds a little scary even as I write it. I think this should be enough or my thoughts will scare everyone away. NOOO KRISPY IS NOT SCARY.

Urban fantasy assignment up soon and I have no fucking idea what to do about it! Omg this is frustrating.

Project meeting tomorrow too, let's hope for the best. Go Krispy!

At the best, there's only average

Just got back from campus and an overnight stay at nic's room. Bloody tired is all I can describe the current physical state I'm in. Something's not very right; maybe it's my head but then again it feels like it's my thighs. Dance and sleepless nights does horrible things to people.
Sleeping on floors hasn't been kind to me, and I wonder why I'm the only person on earth who can't sleep on floors. Everyone else seems to do well on that! Sleeping bag irregardless, as long as it isn't soft and fluffy, I can't get to sleep. And when I woke up, so much bones cracked even enkee asked if there was something wrong inside my body during tutorial.

Tutorial was luckily pleasant. Was dreading going to tutorial so much because I know my assignment was screwed, and I didn't want to explain why it looked the way it did (although I am proud of the concept). And I didn't want Jing to be disappointed. BUT luckily somehow I managed to survive through it. She actually said it's 'nice', omg sheds tears. I MUST BE LUCKY TODAY SOMEHOW.

Oh ok I take that back; literature midterms was a fucking killer, and it made me realize how complacent I get and how lazy I am. I'm flunking lit! OHNOES. What do I do.

Perhaps its fatigue and hence my lack of self-control, I let my mind run free for the whole of today. It became a sponge, absorbed every single thought and emotion, and made me a complete wreck. Well that was then, and now is now, and now I'm fine but earlier on there was so much gloom it seemed like the world couldn't grow flowers and trees anymore. And on top of that I felt like such a lousy friend. Well perhaps I am, but I've had enough of trying to please others, so that's that. One thing led to another and I guess even though we all try sometimes shit happens. I try my hardest, and even at my best, I'm only average.

But life's good. :)
Taking things into my hand, and can't wait for bump-in this sunday, and showtime on tues/wed.
LEHGOOOOO.

xxx,

Mrs Micky

Finally settled most of the pressing assignments, including Nm3223 A2. Though I cannot say that my heart was in it, at least they're done. Now just waiting for crunch time - and by that I mean EMCC, and in the not-so-far-away future my results.

Funnily enough, my life is kinda in shambles but I'm pretty much happier than awhile ago. Dance still brings me down to my lowest point however, I'm quite bent on enjoying life as it is. Which was what I've been telling myself to do for the past million years. I'm a vampire, shhhh.

Not getting too happy about it though, will just enjoy things while they last.

Nothing interesting happened lately, life's all bland. 1 more week to EMCC, 2 more months till end of semester, 1 and a half semester till graduation. I can't wait.

Off to finish deadlines!


xxx,
Mrs Micky