Perhaps it's a good thing that I don't have a boyfriend this year because he'll have to handle so much shit from me especially during this period. Is it because I've grown older, or is it that I'm just too critical of the world nowadays that when I look at all the happy happy vday photos on Facebook, I can't help but to judge each and every one of them. Flowers.......roses. To me it's becoming really cliche. I still remember those days when I look at flowers and wish that my boyfee would buy them for me, that it's such a romantic thing to do. Now it's just really overrated. I'm just rolling my eyes reading every caption that comes along with the photo. It's especially amusing when you realize that the people writing the captions really put much thought into making the captions sounds romantic and classy at the same time.....but it didn't work. At least not for me.
Hahahaha honestly I'm not jealous. I'm not even envious. This year it seems like I've really given up on expecting any relationships at all. I only realized that when me and joysu were walking down the AS1 hall walkway (which was filled with irritating vday booths) and she asked if I felt 'bitter' when I saw the booths. This marked the first year for me not feeling bitter, expectant, or any kind of emotions at all when faced with happy couples and flower bouquets and whatsoever. I kind of like it this way. Not getting my feelings all tangled up without any reasons.
I thought of it. Why?
At the top of my head the one reason was perhaps because I have awesome friends who shower me with enough love to make me forget about the lack of a companion. Although you know my emotions are like a rollercoaster, this statement is therefore not to be taken at point. I forgot all about today being vday last night, and when I woke up found messages from my friends wishing v-day all over, and I guess I didn't really feel the pain of being alone.
Although I didn't anticipate vday at all this year....so the reason's still not strong enough to support.
I've had my fair share of ups and downs the previous years, and maybe that's why I've grown so tired of expecting anything at all. Moreover, it may be the first year that I'm not interested in anyone and so Vday has lost its meaning for me.....for now.
And I'm kind of glad that I don't have a boyfee this year to share it with because when I look at the photos of couples enjoying their special day together, all I see are candlelight dinners, dinners by the pool, homemade dinners, dinners at restaurants...then flowers - roses, bigger nicer roses, another bouquet of roses. SO COMMON I CAN'T TAKE IT. CAN WE HAVE SOME VARIETY PLS.
If I had a bf now, I think he'd be driven crazy by my demands to have a super awesome uncommon vday. Perhaps someone as critical as me should just stay single so as not to screw up someone else's life hahahaha. But then again, if someone can handle my temper then I should just marry him, by whatever means I have to take.
Or perhaps it's because I've been indulging in way too many heartbreaking dramas recently that I've lost all hope in love. Hahahaha I mean that could be a valid reason right. I don't know, you tell me.
It's getting harder and harder to find someone that fits, maybe because I'm getting too critical each year.
Oh well, I can't possibly just not listen to what my heart is saying. And it's telling me that nobody's right this year. Rule: If someone wants it, they bloody take the initiative to get it. I'm too lazy for anything anymore. :D
But I had a good time with my dear redbunny today, accompanying me throughout my essay writing hahahahahahah I might as well marry a photo of him.
Alright back to lousy assignnments. I wonder why I even bother to blog about this at all.
I must be really bored.
xxx,
Mrs Micky
